Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Come Together

A while back I posted on my other blog about a "merge" of the two. You can read what I wrote there, but the gist of it is that with Charlotte's then imminent arrival, I felt like so many things in my life were coming together in a new way. It seemed natural that perhaps the two blogs should "come together" as well.

With that being said, this is something I would have probably previously posted there, but I think I'll make that transition today and put it here!

There are a lot of really great blogs and websites out there, but only so much time in the day. There are a few that I read regularly (check the list on the sidebar) and several that I check every few weeks or so. If I need a good word, I can always check in on Bring the Rain, Angie Smith's blog that she stared when she found out the baby she was carrying would likely not survive. If I need a laugh or a good "mom moment" I read Suburban Turmoil, Lindsay Ferrier's blog that ranges from funny to poignant often all within one post. So imagine my delight when the two of them came together to talk about something close to my heart!

Here's the video of Lindsey interviewing Angie (they will appear a couple of minutes into the video) about her experience of how others responded to her loss.

Dealing with a person who has experienced a miscarriage or a stillbirth or the loss of a child or parent or fill in the blank here with any other loss that alters your life is really hard. Really hard. Even as someone who has been there, I find it difficult to deal with.

Before we lost Joshua I would have been more likely to say nothing if I couldn't think of "something good" to say to someone who was going through that process. Now, on the other side, my best advice is to do the opposite of what I was inclined to do; it is always better to say something. Anything. Even if it's just like Angie said, "I don't know what to say or do, but I am so sorry." That recognition means more than I can say. When we were in the early days of grieving the loss of our baby, I found myself wondering, "does anyone have a clue what we're going through?" because it was so rare that someone outside our family (or close friends who are "family" to us) would say anything at all about the fact that we lost a baby. Those people who put themselves out there and asked questions, said the hard things, and were willing to make themselves uncomfortable on our behalf stick out in my mind even today.

1 comment:

Suburban Turmoil said...

This is so good to know. Thanks for sharing, and for linking to the video! Angie is indeed very special, in person as well as on her blog. :)